snips quotes... 
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There is little that separates humans from other sentient beings- we all feel pain, we all feel joy, we all deeply crave to be alive and live freely, and we all share this planet together.~~Gandhi

Dog: A sound creature in an crazy world. ~~James Thurber

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ~~Robert A. Heinlein

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
~~ Anonymous

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog who will worship him and a cat who will ignore him. ~~Dereke Bruce

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dog.
~~Ernest Thompson Seton, American writer and naturalist.

Lots of people talk to animals. Not that many listen though. That's the problem. ~~Piglet

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. ~~Erma Bombeck

I prefer the company of animals more than the company of humans. Certainly, a wild animal is cruel. But to be merciless is the privilege of civilized humans.~~Sigmund Freud

They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. ~~Emily Dickenson

Until we have the courage to recognize cruelty for what it is... whether its victim is human or animal... we cannot expect things to be much better in this world.
~~ Rachel Carson

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. ~~Fran Lebowitz

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. ~~Samuel Butler

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~~Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. ~~Will Rogers

If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
~~Will Cuppy

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. ~~Mark Twain

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.~~Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.~~Andy Rooney

Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. ~~Jeff Valdez

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's. ~~Polish Proverb

Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend. ~~Corey Ford, American writer

We give dogs time we can spare! , space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. ~~M. Facklam

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. ~~Penny Ward Moser

I have developed a deep respect for animals. I consider them fellow living creatures with certain rights that should not be violated any more than those of humans. ~~Jimmy Stewart

The soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different. ~~Hippocrates

I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.
~~Samuel Johnson

My sunshine doesn't come from the skies, it comes from the love in my dog's eyes.~~Unknown

Dogs lives are too short...their only fault, really. ~~Agnes Sligh Turnbull

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.~~Rita Rudner

And nobody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. ~~Franklin P. Jones

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
~~Joe Weinstein

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ~~Ogden Nash

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~~Ben Williams

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. ~~ Dave Barry

I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles...and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale’s? ~~Yvonne Clifford

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to chose a relative. ~~Mordecai Siegal

The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too. ~~Samuel Butler

She had no particular breed in mind, no unusual requirements. Except the special sense of mutual recognition that tells dog and human they have both come to the right place. ~~Lloyd Alexander, American writer.

Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads.
~~Harry S. Truman

Things a Cat Must Remember

God ... sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it... and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better. ~~Rainer Maria Rilke

Being patted is what it is all about. ~~Roger Caras

Sir, this is a unique dog. He does not live by tooth or fang. He respects the right of cats to be cats although he doesn’t admire them. He turns his steps rather than disturb an earnest caterpillar. His greatest fear is that someone will point out a rabbit and suggest that he chase it. This is a dog of peace and tranquility. ~~John Steinbeck

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace. ~~Milan Kundera

His name is not wild dog anymore, but the first friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always. ~~Rudyard Kipling

I care not for a man's religion if his dog and cat are not the better for it. ~~Abraham Lincoln

Dog Letters to God

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. ~~James Thurber

There is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to other animals, as well as humans, then it is all a sham.
~ Anna Sewell

Our task must be to free widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. ~~Albert Einstein

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of
these. ~~George Washington Carver

My doctrine is this, that if we see cruelty or wrong that we have the power to stop, and do nothing, we make ourselves sharers in the guilt. ~~Anna Sewell

In a world older and more complete than ours, animals move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth. ~~Henry Beston

Cruelty to animals is one of the most significant vices of a low and ignoble people. ~~Alexander von Humboldt

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. ~~Elie Wiesel

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cat haiku...

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hair ball somewhere
Will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion,
Then- silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds-
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore
My sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me
If I can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?

Litter box not here.
You must have moved it again.
I'll crap in the sink.

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close to you.
Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, crud! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
Has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now.
Every room is dark and cold.
Time for "Cup Hockey."

We're almost equals.
I purr to show I love you.
Want to smell my butt?

All About Cats...

1. "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will wet on your computer." ~Bruce Graham

2. "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."~Unknown

3. "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." ~ Anonymous

4. "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." ~Jeff Valdez

5. "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." ~English proverb

6. "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." ~Ellen Perry Berkeley

7. "One cat just leads to another." ~Ernest Hemingway

8. "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." ~Mary Bly

9. "Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." ~Joseph Wood Krutch

10. "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." ~Faith Resnick

11. "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." ~Anonymous

12. "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." ~ Hippolyte Taine

13. "No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." ~Unknown

14. "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." ~Albert Schweitzer

15. "The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." ~Ernest Menaul

16. "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." ~Unknown

17. "Time spent with cats is never wasted." ~Colette

18. "You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." ~Colonial American proverb

20. "Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." ~Joseph Wood Krutch

21. "I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." ~Unknown

22. "My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes." ~Unknown

23. "Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." ~Unknown

Never wear anything that panics the cat. ~P.J. O'Rourke

The Doggie Pledge...

I will not eat the cat's food, before or after she has eaten it.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

The computer mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible.

I will not play with the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell her.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially the red ones so my people will think I'm dying.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose in her ear.

I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast food restaurant, no matter how good it smells.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not bite the Officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's drivers license and registration.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining.

I will shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.

I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.

I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

I will not use the sofa for a face towel.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark every time I hear one ring on TV.

I will not suddenly stand straight up when laying under the coffee table.

I will not put my head in the refrigerator.

I will not hide my toys behind the fridge.

I will not bark at the garbage collector. I realize he is not actually stealing our stuff.

Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals "love" them.
But those who respect their natures
and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more.
~Edwin Way Teale, Circle of the Seasons, 1953

snips House Rules...

The dog is not allowed in the house.

Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.

The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.

The dog can get on the old furniture only.

Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans in the bed.

Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.

The dog can sleep on the bed when ever he wants, but not under the covers.

The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

The dog can sleep under the covers every night.

Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.



The family's dog was bought for a guard,

Chained to a post in a chilly backyard,

Housed in a shed that was airless and dark,

And every few weeks had a run in the park.

When boredom set in with no fun and no work,

One day he broke loose and went quietly berserk.

Pa couldn't fathom just why he went wild,

As he flattened his wife and then bit his child.

The police were called in to sort out the mess,

And the whole sorry tale was revealed by the press,

The Rescue Society was really annoyed,

So, the dog was rehomed--and the owners destroyed.

Author Unknown

Dog Property Laws . . .

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.

Things a Cat Must Remember:

My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.

I will not fish out my human's partial plate from the glass so that the dog can "wear" it and pretend to be my human. (It is somewhat unnerving to wake up, roll over in bed, and see the dog grinning at you with your own teeth.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

I will not drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night, deposit them on the bed and yell at the top of my lungs so that my human can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my human is explaining to his girlfriend how graceful I am.

I will not complain that my bottom is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl.

I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my bottom.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it.

If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it dissolves in boiling coffee.

When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite down on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.

The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

Yes, there are still two very large dogs in the backyard. There have been for several years. I don't have to act as if I've just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe each time one of them appears in my window.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a new board in her computer.

I will not bring the city police to the front door by stepping on the speaker phone button and then the automatic 911 dial button.

I will not speed dial the overseas numbers.

I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters), stay in the house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

I will not stalk the deer in the apple orchard next door. They have sharp hooves and could hurt me if they weren't laughing so hard.

I will not watch the guinea pig constantly as the guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while.

The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to remain in its bowl.

I will not put a live mole in my food bowl and expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

I will not eat spider plants and hallucinate behind the toilet.

I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.

I will learn to relax at the vet's office so they will start writing things in my records like "Good Kitty" and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that's there now like "MEAN!!" "BITER!!!" and "GET HELP!!!!!"

I will not be miffed at my human all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that she is forgiven and can now pet me.

I will not scratch the children of lawyers, no matter how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail.

If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

I will not soak my catnip toy in the water bowl to make tea. I will not get high and sit there drinking my tea and kneading the floor afterwards.

I will not then get delusions of grandeur and make tea in the toilet bowl or the tub.

And I will not try to make tea with used socks, dirty panties or hair scrunches when my humans take the catnip toy away from me.

A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap.


1. When you have more grass in your driveway than in your backyard.

2. When your neighbors find ANY dog running loose and automatically bring it to your house.

3. When you want to watch TV and you have to sit on the floor because all of the furniture is "occupied".

4. When it takes you longer to wash your dogs' dishes than your own.

5. When you have to use a wash tub for a water dish.

6. When you have to run an obstacle course to get to the phone.

7. When you see one of your dogs doing something bad (like chewing something up or leaving a "dog deposit" on the rug) and you have to run through the entire list of dogs' names in order to yell at the right one and by then it is too late.

8. When the hazmat team comes to your house on trash day to handle the "deposits" that you have placed in your trash can.

9. When you have all of your dogs in the back seat of your car and it automatically changes lanes when they move to the other side of the car.

10. When you NEVER go anywhere for a vacation because it costs more to kennel your dogs than to go to Hawaii.

11. When you have an extension on your king-sized bed so you all fit.

12. When the dog food store makes home deliveries.

13. When you move your bedroom into the garage and put a king and queen sized bed together so all of your dogs can sleep with you.

14. When you can't remember all of your dogs' names and just call them Baby and Pup-Pup.

15. When you take your dogs for a run in the park and people think it's a dog show.

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